Rufus's Great Idea
by UnchartedHeart
Summary: Reno decides to take his bosses advice to get a point across to Elena. Who knew that a Chocobo could be so much trouble for the blonde Turk? For Queen Alla, Relena, Rated M for Language.


A/n: This is a Relena one-shot written for Queen Alla! Hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, as always.

* * *

"Reno…I want a pet." Elena stated as she finished brushing her teeth in the morning. Reno buckled his belt and walked into the bathroom, shooting his girlfriend a very strange look.

"What about those stray cats you always talk to and cuddle with? Those are good enough pets, right?"

"No, because those stay outside and you never let me bring them in! I want one to sleep with, cuddle with or maybe take to work!" she replied, wiping her mouth and grabbing her jacket. Reno rolled his eyes and followed her out of the bathroom.

It wasn't news that Elena wanted an animal, she had been harping about getting one for the past three months, driving the redhead crazy. He hated furry animals, or anything that Elena called cute…cats scratched too much and dogs barked all the time, in his opinion.

* * *

At work, Reno brought up the situation at hand to Rude, who would always listen to his partner rant and rave about his and Elena's issues.

"…Just get her a pet…"

"No no, it's not that easy man…I can already see what's going to happen…she'll take perfect care of it for a while…and then guess who will get stuck with the stupid thing…ME!?" he complained, slamming down a pile of paper work. Rude shrugged and turned to his own paperwork. Just then, Rufus walked into the room with a folder for Rude. He noticed Reno's distressed features and raised an eyebrow.

"Something wrong, Reno?" he asked, sauntering over to his employee. Reno hesitated for a moment before replying.

"Well…Elena wants a damn animal and I don't want to get stuck with it…so I was just trying to figure out what to do."

"Well, get her an obnoxious animal and she'll change her mind. I bought a talking parrot for my girlfriend Holly and after a week, she vowed to never ask for a pet again. It worked like a charm." Rufus replied, smirking as if he was reliving the memory. Reno thought about it for a second and then mimicked the blonde president's smirk.

"Thanks boss, who knew you'de offer any advice!" he teased. Rufus rolled his eyes and waved.

"No problem. Just because I come off conceited and rude, does not mean that I'm actually conceited and rude!" he stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Reno just laughed at his boss and returned to his paperwork. His mind wasn't really on work however, it was on what animal he was going give Elena.

He wanted to get her something that wasn't too messy, but just enough to get his point across that he didn't want an animal and secretly, she probably didn't want one either. He found a Chocobo Farm that wasn't too far from Midgar and he decided that he would stop by there after work.

* * *

"Oh Laney…" Reno mused as he walked into the living room that evening. Elena was curled up in a chair reading some new book she had bought, about a wizard with glasses and a lightning shaped scar…something Reno couldn't care less about. She looked up from the book and a smiled spread across her face when she saw the box.

"Reno! You didn't!"

"Oh, I did, babe." Elena jumped up from the sofa and ran over to her boyfriend, jumping him before taking the box with holes in it, from his hands.

"I bet it's the cutest thing ever, what is it, a dog? A cat? I was wondering why you didn't ride home with me!" she asked, her eyes as wide as saucers. Reno held in a laugh and just shrugged innocently. The blonde Turk giggled and flipped the top of the box off to see a baby Chocobo staring up at her with a set of blue eyes.

"Awwww! Baby, it's so cute!" Elena gushed, petting the top of the bird's head as she looked up at her boyfriend. Reno smiled down at her and the bird, inwardly laughing his head off. It was only a matter of time. The farmer that had let him rent the baby bird had told him that Chocobo's were the most stubborn of creatures and that a person had to have a lot of patience to take care of them.

"Yeah, it's a boy. What did you want to name the thing?" he asked, bending down to both Elena and the Chocobo's level, petting it on the head.

"Hmm…how about Sunshine? He'll be my little sunshine!" she replied reaching in to pick it up. Just then, the bird snapped at her hand, warking loudly to show that it didn't want to be touched. Reno suppressed a laugh and just played along.

"Oh my! I guess he's just scared, right, honey?"

"Sure thing babe. Listen, I'm going out with Rude for tonight, can you babysit the little birdie until  
I get back?" Reno asked, standing back up. Elena followed suit and kissed him gently.

"Of course, have fun! Tell Rude I said hello…and sweetie? Thank you so much, I love it!" Elena replied, embracing the redhead before he kissed her back and left, a smile on his face. He couldn't wait to tell Rude.

As soon as the door was shut, Sunshine jumped up, warking loudly and prancing around the room while running in circles. At first, Elena tried to catch him, her arms outstretched in front of her as she ran.

"Come here Sunshine! Mommy wants to hold you!"

"WARK WARK!"

"I said…COME HERE! Please?" she whined. The bird finally stopped and turned to look up at Elena. They had an intense staring contest until Elena reached down and picked the Chocobo up. Luckily it didn't bite her this time!

She carried the little bird into the kitchen, to let it watch while she cooked herself some dinner. She pulled out a bowl of Cheerio's and poured it for the Chocobo to eat while she made a chef salad for herself. The bird was a little wild for her tastes, but it would be tamed in time. It was too cute to be mad at, anyway!

Elena chopped away at the lettuce while setting down the bowl of Cheerio's in front of Sunshine, humming away when she heard a crash on the kitchen floor. Startled, the blonde looked down to see the dry cereal all over the floor and the bowl split in half. She then looked at the Chocobo and sighed in annoyance.

"Sunshine! Why'd you do that, cutie? You're supposed to eat it!" she explained to the bird in a motherly tone. It only sneezed and jumped to the other side of the counter, now eating her lettuce.

"No no! Bad Chocobo! That's Mommy's dinner!" she yelled, but Sunshine ignored her and continued chomping on the lettuce loudly, looking up at her with its mouth wide open as if to brag. Elena groaned and resorted to eating Cheerio's, while Sunshine ate the whole head of lettuce.

* * *

Next, she picked it up again and went into the bedroom, setting it on her bed as she walked into the bathroom to start a bath. She wanted nothing more than to take a nice, hot bath after a long day. She poured in a large amount of lavender bubble bath, letting bubbles fill the tub while she undressed. Sunshine glared at her, then at the pillows on the bed that Reno and Elena shared, then back to her.

"Be a good bird and I'll be right back!" she cooed before shutting the bathroom door. Elena sank into the bubble bath, letting the hot water soak through her pores as she closed her eyes and sighed. A few minutes later she heard the sound of the door opening. She cracked an eye open, looking around.

"Reno? Are you home?" she called out, not sure if her boyfriend was home. It was only nine in the evening. No answer came to her so she shrugged and sunk back into her bath. Just as she was thinking about the weekend coming up and how her and Reno would spend their time together, a loud splash startled the female Turk, causing her to jump and scream.

"WARK!!" the baby Chocobo had lifted his head out of the bubbly water and jumped the blonde. She curled up at the edge of the tub and screamed her head off.

"Sunshine, get out! What are you doing in here!?"

"Wark, wark wark!" it squealed loudly, jumping up and down continuously. Elena resigned and stood up, wrapping a towel around her waist as the bird continued splashing around in the bubble bath that was supposed to be her relaxation. Her problems didn't end there. The minute Elena walked into her bedroom, she found feathers everywhere…and not yellow feathers…white feathers. From her and Reno's pillows.

"WHAT THE HELL!" she screamed, catching feathers that were falling from being thrown into the air by Sunshine. She looked back at the bird, who almost looked like it was smiling at her. She slumped down by the bed, feathers everywhere and cried out, until she remembered that Rufus used to take care of his father's Chocobos!

Still in her towel, Elena reached for her cell phone and dialed Rufus Shin-Ra's number, waiting patiently for the president to pick up. The phone clicked and a woman answered.

"Rufus Shin-Ra's phone."

"Is this Holly?"

"Yes! Hello there, Elena, how are you!"

"I'm…in a bit of a predicament, is Rufus around?"

"I'm afraid not, he's at the bar with your boyfriend and Rude. I might be able to help you though, what's going on?" Holly cheerfully asked. Elena sighed and decided that something was better than nothing. Throwing one last look at Sunshine splashing around in her ruined bubble bath, she spoke up.

"Well…Reno got me this pet, which was really sweet because he knows I've been dying to have one, but it's a Chocobo…and it's so high maintenance, that I just don't know what to do, Holly! Help me out here!" Elena explained, pinching the bridge of her nose. She heard Holly laugh on the other line and scoffed. What could be so funny about the situation!

"Elena, this sounds so familiar. I had been whining to Rufie that I wanted a pet for us. So he went out and rented a macaw…this annoying parrot that talked non-stop and it even cussed me out! Rufus found this whole ordeal hilarious. It turns out he had rented an annoying animal on purpose to shut me up about wanting a pet. I didn't realize how much trouble they would be. It stressed me out to no end, so I just got rid of it. I have a feeling that my boyfriend has been talking to your boyfriend, dear Elena." Holly replied. Elena got it at that point. Fuming, she thanked Holly briefly and hung up the phone.

"RENO!" she yelled out loud, scaring the Chocobo into jumping out of the bathtub. It started running around, warking randomly as it ran around the apartment. How dare he? Was this some kind of joke to him? Well she'd show him…she had a perfect idea.

* * *

"Laney, I'm home, sorry to keep you up. Tseng showed up and he got completely shitfaced." Reno mused as he walked into the apartment later that night. Elena had cleaned up the mess that Sunshine had made and she was now lounging on the couch in a pair of silk shorts and a tank top. Reno raised an eyebrow and looked over at the sleeping Chocobo by the corner.

"How's the little birdie?" he asked, in a quieter voice, hoping she would burst into tears and complain about never wanting an animal. However, Elena did the opposite.

"How, he was brilliant Reno, I really love him. But…do you know what I also love?" she whispered, standing up and pulling off Reno's Turk jacket slowly. A smirk caressed his features as he began to kiss her neck.

"Give me five minutes…meet me in the bedroom." He whispered, giving her a kiss on the lips before disappearing into the bathroom. Elena smiled and walked over to the Chocobo, waking it up. It perked its head up and followed her into the bedroom as she sat on the bed.

Reno came back and his eyes immediately set on the bird staring at them both. He pointed at Sunshine and then looked at Elena with a strange glare.

"Er…that thing…is it going to be in here when we uh…" this was going exactly the way Elena wanted it to. She held her smirk and stared at her boyfriend innocently.

"Well, why not? It's a part of the family now. Surely you knew that when you bought a pet, Reno?" she asked. Reno's top lip twitched as he shrugged and met her over by the bed, choosing to ignore Sunshine, who was still staring at them.

Reno kissed her and slowly removed her tank top when he looked over quickly to see the bird still staring at them, its eyes filled with curiosity and confusion. He backed away from Elena and held his hands up in defeat.

"I can't do this…not while that thing is watching!" he complained, pointing back at Sunshine. Elena smiled and giggled.

"Well…maybe someone should have thought about that before you decided to play a prank on me! Buying me that vicious thing to take care of while you went off!" she replied.

"Wait…how'd you figure it out?"

"Holly told me about what Rufus did and the story sounds all too familiar, dear!" she stated, crossing her arms as she sat up. Reno scratched his head and looked back at her.

"Okay…your right. It's just I'm not ready for a pet yet! I wanted to show you somehow without hurting your feelings, babe." He replied, pulling her close.

"Reno…just tell me next time…that thing drove me up the wall! I'd rather you tell me the truth, okay?"

"Alright babe, your righ-wait…it drove you crazy?"

"Yes, Reno it did. I'm glad you rented it because I thought I was going to have to cook it at some point if it didn't chill out! It was crazy! Let's get rid of it pronto, okay?" she suggested. Reno nodded enthusiastically and got the box ready.

* * *

Later that week, Reno was still laughing about the Chocobo incident, much to Elena's dismay. He found it hilarious that the bird ran her out of her own bathtub.

"Shut up, it scared me! It was like a monster from under the sea, Reno!"

"Yeah, because it looked like something that could you eat whole, huh, Laney?"

"Whatever, you didn't have to deal with it. You ran off with Rude and Rufus…who were probably laughing about the whole debacle!"

"Actually, we were laughing at Tseng singing and dancing the Macarena at the bar, but okay. Anyway, babe, it's over, I love you and just the two of us is all that matters. No pets, no bothers, nothing, just you and me…and sometimes…that bed over there." He explained, wrapping an arm around Elena, cuddling her with a kiss on her forehead.

"Oh yeah…we never got to…because of…" Elena trailed off, taking Reno's hand and pulling him seductively to the bedroom, this time…without Sunshine following them.

"Hey Laney? What the fuck happened to all the pillows, there are none!"

"Uhhhhhh…about that…"

* * *

A/n: I hope everyone enjoyed!


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